Jack and Jill

And a Few Others - A Dialogue

“Hello.”

“Oh. Hello, there.”

“Do you like the playground?”

“I suppose I do. Really, though, I just needed a place to sit down and this bench presented itself to me.”

“What does that mean?”

“What does what mean?”

“What you just said. Prizedented.”

“Presented? It means I needed a spot to sit down and this bench was here, so I took it before any naughty little children ran up and sat down here first, so I couldn’t. Why are you laughing?”

“You’re funny.”

“I suppose so.”

“What do you like to do?”

“Me? Hm. I suppose…complain a lot.”

“Complain? Why do you complain a lot.”

“Because I’m old and that’s what old people do.”

“You’re like my grandma. We never see her because she lives in Massachusetts.”

“That’s far.”

“Yup.”

“How old’s your grandma?”

“Old. Like at least a hundred.”

“You don’t say? That’s how old I am. Don’t laugh. I’m at least a hundred. I should meet this grandma of yours. She sounds exotic. You think she’d like me? No?! I don’t believe you. I think she would.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Maybe not. Maybe not. Do you read yet? Do you like books? What do you mean you don’t like books?”

“No. I don’t read yet. Mom tries to read to me sometimes. She’s always busy, though. And I don’t like books. Books are boring.”

“What about Jack and Jill? You like Jack and Jill, don’t you? Every kid likes Jack and Jill. You know Jack and Jill? You don’t know Jack and Jill? No? Well, it goes like this.

Jack and Jill
Went up a hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.”

“What is that?”

“That? It’s a nursery rhyme.”

“What’s a nursery rhyme?”

“What’s a nursery rhyme? Didn’t your parents ever tell you Jack and Jill?”

“No.”

“No? What about Little Jack Horner?

Little Jack Horner
Sat in a Corner?
Eating a Christmas pie?
He put in his thumb
And pulled out a plumb
And said, “What a good boy am I!”

You’ve never heard that one, either?”

“No.”

“Huh. How about,

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jump over
The candlestick

Or,

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
And so between them both, you see,
They licked the platter clean.

Nothing, huh?”

“What does that mean?”

“What does what mean?”

“What you just said.”

“What I just said. What did I just say?”

“You know. The thing.”

“The thing about Jack Sprat?”

“Yes. About him. Who is that?”

“Who? Jack Sprat? Jack Sprat is a man who can’t eat fat.”

“Why can’t he eat fat?”

“Probably because he’s old and his doctor told him it’s not good for him anymore. See the rhyme is saying everything’s going to be okay. Jack can’t eat fat, but that’s okay because his wife can’t eat any lean. Lean means the meat that doesn’t have any fat on it. We don’t hear why either one can’t have these parts of the meat, but it’s okay because what Jack can’t have, his wife can. And what his wife can’t have, Jack can. So it’s all okay. See?”

“Where’d you learn that?”

“Learn what? About Jack Sprat and Jack and Jill?”

“Yeah.”

“I guess I learned them from my mom. And from school. When I was very young like you they used to teach these rhymes to us in school. Everyone knew them.”

“I’m in school! I’m in Kindergarten! I’m five!”

“You don’t say? Five is pretty old.”

“Yup. I turn six pretty soon.”

“Six is even older. What do they teach you in Kindergarten?”

“Emma? Emma?”

“I have to go.”

“Is your name Emma?”

“Yes.”

“My name’s Henry. It was nice talking to you, Emma.”

“Okay.”

“Emma. Come here!”

“I have to go. Bye.”

“Bye, Emma.”

“Bye.”

“Good-bye.”